Vanity, Oh Vanity

Everyday I'm blessed with the opportunity to help people who are truly helpless when it comes to their money. I say this because they can't seem to figure out that they probably don't need to spend $40 on skin cream.

The people I encounter on the phone make me want to punch them on a regular basis. Some of them call in and say they didn't know about the auto-replenishment... naturally, they want their money back because they weren't informed and it's a scam. Well for one thing nobody is going to tell you they are scamming you and for another thing SkinID tells you straight up that it's a membership program, so maybe before whipping out the ole AMEX you might want to check up on it to see what you're signing up for.

Some of my favourite questions involve the cost of the item. They say something like "how it the membership cheaper" when I tell them that they have to pay $49.90 to order the kit regular price. It's quite simple. $40<$50. If you're paying $40 for a base price + $3 tax and $8 shipping that's cheaper than $50+$3.50+$8... I think. And they LOVE to whine about not being refunded for shipping. By love I mean hot, sweaty, steamy, pornographic-romance-novel love complaining about that. I didn't realize that other web based acne treatment systems returned shipping. I've been told on occasion that Proactive does; they don't, but I'm told they do. I think if there was some research done I think our customers may find that the amount of companies the return for shipping are in the 0-2% range and some of them probably include shipping companies. SkinID/ Neutrogena is NOT one of the few and proud.

SkinID customers make my brain hurt so much. They don't understand that the terms "delivery date" and "arrival date" are the same. They can't fathom that the Dermboard is forum based and the Dermatologist doesn't work at a call centre.

What the hell is with people with NO acne ordering this stuff. Look at youtube for SkinID and you'll see that most of the people who do videos about SkinID don't have an acne problem that would make it worth while to buy SkinID.

Is it part of the American dream to be a group of self entitled spendaholics? I don't know. What I do know is that SkinID is coming to Canada soon... and I think my poor little mind may get warped beyond recognition; especially when those wonderfully snooty Quebecers call in.

Please UN-pimp Your Auto

In another post I discussed some VW commericals where they demolished some "pimped" autos.

Last night I wished I could have sent a couple of pimped autos flying. There's little more annoying than JUST getting your baby to sleep and having some rice-rocket with a viceroy muffler belch past your home. I can understand wanting a car to sound tough and powerful but those mufflers make the Civics they're attached to sound neither.

Not only do they make the vehicle they're attached to sound stupid they make the tail pipe look like it's been sodomized by a telephone pole. They make me want to rip them off. I wish I could.

So dear drinkers, if you see one of these mufflers on a car be sure to find a way to take it off. You don't have to worry about the car being louder and you'd be doing your community a service. I'm sure they're recyclable and there may even be some platinum in there which is worth money.

If we all do our part, there will be un-pimped autos-a-plenty.

One Less Pedophile

As we're all aware Michael Jackson is dead. The population of children under the age of 5 is now slightly safer. Michael's "old enough to pee, old enough for me" take on life it like NAMBLA's slogan... I think it is... I'm not going to look. All I want to know about them is John Stewart makes fun of them at every turn.

Anyway I'm about as sad about Michael Jackson dying as I am that the sky is blue on a clear day. It's something I've come to accept and it really doesn't have any real bearing on my day. What I am tired of; is hearing about it at every turn (MJ dying, not the sky). It's on the news, on the Internet, on the radio and I don't care. I especially don't care about what happened in his life with his various wives while he pretended to be straight.

I don't know if he was a Christian but if he wasn't than I'm sure I can imagine that hell for him is probably filled with either:

1. Adult women
2. Pre-pubescent boys that are always just out of reach and don't like wine.
   

To me, Michael Jackson was creepy. He looked like he'd been the victim of a severe fall through the ugly tree and had to have plastic surgery to resemble a human. His obsession with youth and with children was wacko. He related with PETER (freaking) PAN. I mean REALLY!? And for a "black guy" his kids are awfully white. They ain't even messeginated (to coin a phrase from O' Brother where art thou).

Michael, rest in whatever peace you find. Hopefully the news casts and stories about you and the constant Television coverage you're getting will soon die as well. Because, as far as being desensitized to something this is the 9/11 of recent pop culture events...

A Grand O'le Plan

The plan for today was to go to Moncton and see my friends that I hadn't seen since 2008. I miss them like crazy and It'd be nice to see them once in a while. Unfortunately for me such is not going to happen.

Instead, I get to wait for the repair guy to come and look at the mould deposit on my bedroom floor, wall, and on the closet wall in the Master Bedroom. With any luck he will be here this morning like they said... but I have a sneaky suspicion that the prompt arrival of ye olde tyme repair man will be neither prompt nor punctual.

This apartment has me wondering; how much rent do I have to pay, and whose leg do I have to hump to get maintenance done? In April we called them, "we'll send someone tomorrow" and do you think someone came? NO! Mind you, he did have an excuse... but we'd waited all day and there was no reason they couldn't have called us to say, "yeah we'll have to postpone the repair guy's visit". What got fixed last time? Well... The bathroom got partially re tiled and the bracket for the door on the master bedroom; which fell off again about a week later because the crack in the door frame wasn't fixed, and did I mention that the door sticks anyway.

Of the list of things that needed to be fixed (and should have been done PRE-us-moving-in) included:

• Change the thermostat.
• Fix the peephole.
• Replace/ Repair the windows.
• Lay the flooring correctly.
  
• Paint correctly (I.E. don't paint things closed).
• Fix the tiles in the bathroom.
• Fix the door frames (not paint over cracks).
  
• Make sure the doors don't require extra force and noise to open and close.
  
• Ensure that there aren't any bugs.
• Ensure that there won't be any mould.
  

What was fixed included:

• Fix the tiles in the bathroom.
• Fix the peephole.
  

And that was after we moved in. I'll grant that the windows weren't something that could have been fixed in the winter. My question is why are SOME of the windows in the building new while others are old and rotten. It'd make sense to me to change them all at once. Anyway, if repair guy doesn't get here by 11:59.59 I'm not going to be as civilized on the phone as I was yesterday when I called them. I'm aware I'm only paying $600 a month for rent but the way I see it, that's a chunk of a mortgage payment and if I have to do the work myself I will not be paying for my living arrangements. Needless to say we're looking for something else in the way of living arrangements.

ignorance is bliss

i thought that you avid drinkers may enjoy hearing about this.
In Bridgewater, there is a little park with a few floating docks called Shipyard's Landing. At this place, quite a few people like to park, eat, socialize, frolic, and on occasion, smoke in public.
One fine day last week, I had pulled in to eat my lunch, and noticed an old lady smoking in her car, scowling at everyone. i thought nothing of it untill i saw her other hand (the one not holding a ciggarette) she was holding a rescue inhaler. For those of you who don't know, smoking is horrible for asthma, and can cause severe asthma attacks. but still, the best of the irony was yet to come.
This wonderful old lady proceeded to inhale on her ciggarette, then, without exaleing the smoke, took a hit off of her puffer, as a chaser if you will. she did this twice, inhale smoke, inhale puffer, exhale smoke and puffer meds. a part of me died inside each time.
This just goes to show you that ignorance is total bliss